#the internet has peaked for today

[applysome]

This was the first thing I saw when I opened Instagram this morning:

Icon el Pais magazine May 2018

Credit: Alex Turner Rares on Instagram

[mask131]

I was thinking about something mind-blowing recently.

When it comes to: "Indie Internet project about Hell and the life of its inhabitants, oscillating between serious topics and dark humor, heavily furry-influenced, with a lot of violence and with a lot of sex"... There were actually two exact cases of this precise situation happening. Like... the two ways this basis could go.

One was actually the best way so far. It was, of course, the Helluvaverse: Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss.

The other... the other was really the worst road ever. And I am certain that if the Hazbin-haters and other Helluva-harassers knew about the existence of this other one, they would crawl back to the Hazbin/Helluva shows begging for mercy and thanking them for existing.

Do you remember a certain webcomic called... Jack?

*cue to the people who know what I am talking about and proceed to jump out of the window screaming *

Seriously, when you think about it... The "Jack" webcomic is literaly the "horror parallel universe" version of the Helluvaverse. What could have happened if the same basic idea came from a VERY different mind and was handled VERY differently, with VERY different goals.

Both even have a lot of controversies and a vivid hatedom... But by all that is holy and unholy in this world, when you look at the "Jack" content and "Jack" discourse versus the Helluvaverse one, all the Hazbin-haters look like petty, silly children pretending to be grown-ups. Let them glimpse even just the tip of the Jack icerberg and they will rip out their eyes while having a heart attack.

[imsobadatnicknames2]

My favorite recent example of memetic mutation is how the Spanish-speaking internet has now established any picture of a character smoking a comically large cigarette or a comical amount of cigarettes as the visual language for saying something is peak cinema.

Similar to the Martin Scorsese "absolute cinema" meme, over the course of the last couple years it became a meme to use this picture of Mads Mikkelsen smoking a cigarette as a reaction pic (both unironically and ironically) for the quality of a movie or TV show, commonly captioned as "en efecto, es cine" ("indeed, it is cinema"), "joder, esto si es cine" ("fuck, now this is cinema"), or "hoy ganó el cine" ("today cinema won").

This led to people establishing the visual shorthand of "cigarette = good show/movie" (such as people commenting a single cigarette emoji under screencaps or gifsets of movies), and eventually the meme of treating the size of the cigarette and/or number of cigarettes as being directly representative of cinematic quality, leading to reaction pics like these being used.

[elssero]

thinking about being shotos first ever crush.

he puts little notes on your desk during lunch, always leaving you something to come back to- writing something about how he likes the way your hair looks today or how nice your new earrings are.

he copies things he sees in movies- sometimes you’ll have flowers left outside your dorm room- chocolates placed in your locker.

you have absolutely NO idea who it is. the idea of your secret admirer being shoto never even crossed your mind. even if you silently hoped it was him.

the girls tease you relentlessly- just as stumped as you are with who your secret lover could be.

it gets to the point we’re the girls are on watch- wrangling kirishima and denki into helping them find the culprit.

they take “shifts” watching your locker- eyeing up the door of the classroom looking for any suspicious behaviour.

jirou has her hunch- everytime they leave class it’s always todoroki who’s the last to leave. you actually laugh at her suggestion- there’s no way.

shoto is increasingly freaking out as he watches you and your friends attempt to work out who’s leaving you all these little gifts- silently smug with himself.

he watched everytime as your eyes light up each time you receive something new from him.

he takes little notes- he only ever gifts you milk chocolate now as you didn’t seem to like the dark chocolate as much- offering it around to your classmates.

he sees you tie the little red ribbon he decorated the box with in your hair and he loses it- your wearing something he gifted you. of course your doing it unknowingly- but it’s happening none the less.

he decides in that moment he wants to buy everything for you- he wants everything you wear to come from him. every piece of food you eat he has to buy-

when jirou announces she’s going to get “proof” of her suspicion he knows the clock is ticking.

he’s left with two options- confess or get caught.

he spends hours on the internet- scanning though multiple wikihows- he’s still having trouble.

he can’t go to midoriya- his friend is even more helpless than he is.

he holds his breath as he knocks on your door- bouquet in his shaking hand as he waits for you to open it.

every words from his planned confession gets lost in his head when he sees you- his eyes blown wide as he catches the small smirk on your face.

“are these for me?” there’s a slight tease in your voice- it only makes him blush harder.

he can’t find the words- instead he pushes them towards you- burying his head in his own shoulder to avoid your gaze.

you let out a small chuckle as you take the flowers from his hand- you take note of how much bigger this bouquet is from the normal ones- he’d really outdone himself.

he watches as you glide back into your room- setting up a vase for the flowers he’d just gifted you- he stands ridged in your doorway.

“are you going to come in?” he’s never moved faster in his life.

jirou stands with mina in a corner of the corridor, heads peaked around the corner so they could watch the scene unfold in hiding- the pink girls eyes blown wide, her jaw dropped to the floor.

“i fucking knew it.”

[magscornerstore]

Hard Launch

Spencer Agnew x Reader

Summary: You and Spencer have been dating for a couple months, what better way to reveal it than during a game on the Pit channel?

A/N) First time writing for Spencer! i saw today's pit video and immediately got inspired to write something for the resident gamer. the spence community has been eating GOOD recently♡

Working at Smosh was fun! You basically got paid to hang out with your friends and post to social media, your two favorite things to do! You started at the company a year ago, fresh out of college with degrees in communications and marketing, new to L.A, and an excitement to leave your mark somewhere. You had interviewed with Smosh, with their growing popularity, they needed more hands available. You landed the job and quickly became a part of the family, helping manage their social media accounts. You got to post sneak peaks of upcoming videos, silly videos of you and your coworkers behind the scenes, and the members of Smosh attempting the latest trends and challenges. 

You easily fit in with the family, their charm and wit immediately making you comfortable, almost like you’ve always had a place there. You became quick friends with Angela and Chance, Courtney and Shayne, Tommy and Trevor…and Spencer. Spencer was different, something about his wild and out-of-pocket humor masked by the shy nerdy guy he was immediately intrigued you. You two hit it off right away, a shared love for video games and movies quickly turned into movie and game nights at each other’s apartments. After about three months of dancing around each other, Spencer finally asked you out. You two agreed to keep the relationship on the downlow, not wanting to experience the craziness from both the internet and the people in the office you love so dearly. You loved the Smosh family, but what you and Spencer had was soft, quiet, yours. A love between two people that belonged to only you. Lazy mornings, movie nights, cuddling on the couch with his cats, cooking adventures. It was amazing.

Which brings you to now, you two had discussed the idea of going public, about announcing your relationship to the world. You were both okay with it, you just needed to decide when and how. It was your idea to do it through one of the many games played on the channels, and what better game than Phone It In, the game about guessing who’s phone it is by the images provided. The game was simple, each person submitted a screenshot of their latest google searches, a text message exchange from a person of their choosing, and a picture from their photos. The three people playing, today it’s Spencer, Amanda, and Trevor, then had to guess who’s phone it is from a list of potential options of people in the office. 

The game was going smoothly, Spencer currently in the lead as the three crack jokes and use their detective skills to get the most points. “Alright, lets see the next Google search,” Tommy prompts as the next round begins. An image pops on the board. Spencer immediately writes his answer, it’s you, and he knows your brain like it’s his own. “So, we have ‘Sushi near me’, ‘Converse sale’, and ‘Pokemon A to Z release date’. Whoever this is, is a gamer.” Tommy continues to commentate as Amanda and Trevor struggle to decide. Many people in the office play Pokemon and wear converse. They both abstain and wait for the text messages to be revealed. The contact picture and name are blocked out as Tommy reads out the exchange. Spencer smiles softly at the picture, the conversation had happened only a couple days ago, you had asked him to pick up sushi for dinner despite just getting some the other day, he obviously had given in and gotten you the sushi. Amanda writes down a name she thinks could fit, not confident in her answer. Spencer catches your eye as you sit behind the camera, watching your reaction. You flash a grin at him as he raises an eyebrow, the final clue is revealed at Trevor’s request. A picture of Spencer laying on his bed in his apartment, lipstick marks littered across his neck and face as he grins up at you with a lovesick smile. Who took the picture isn’t obvious, the only clue being a small portion of your hand visible on his chest. 

The studio goes silent before a combined gasp and scream of surprise goes through everyone. Spencer sits there, cheeks flaming as he hides his face in his hands. “SPENCER!” Amanda shouts, gripping his arm, trying to form words but left speechless. Trevor too struggles to express his thoughts, mouth opening and closing, “Wait! I think I know!” Trevor grins as he quickly writes down a name. “Can I change my answer?” Amanda whines, “It’s so obvious now!” Tommy denies her requests as he has them reveal their guesses. He has Amanda go first, she had guessed Ollie, her reasoning being that they’re a Pokemon nerd and wear Converse...before the third picture had been revealed obviously. Trevor was next, he flipped his board and there in big letters was your name, “those two are always together, honestly, I thought they were dating for the longest time,” he reasons. It comes down to Spencer, “well, I think I know this person pretty well,” he jokes as he flips his board. Your name. “The Converse and sushi gave it away for me, but I guess that third picture jogs my memory a bit.” 

Tommy smiles as he turns to the board, “let’s see who’s phone it is, is it Y/N?” Your name and picture flash on the screen, confirming that it’s your phone. Screams echo around the studio at the confirmation of it being your lips on Spencer’s neck. “Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Amanda holds out her hands. “Are you two…dating?” She questions Spencer as all eyes fall on him. He glances at you as you watch with a grin, “a second Smosh couple has hit the office," he confirms with a goofy grin.

[cressidagrey]

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 17

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes: 

Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.

This has literally all the worst things the internet has to offer: Ableism, Sexisms, Toxic Media, horrible journalism, death threats...I am pretty sure I am missing some of it.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

6 July 2024 - Silverstone GP, Quali Day

YouTube Transcript – Silverstone 2024 – Lando Norris Post-Qualifying Interview

Interviewer: “Lando, solid qualifying today. But I have to ask—the paddock is absolutely buzzing because you’ve brought someone special this weekend. This is the first time we’ve seen you publicly with your girlfriend. What made Silverstone the right place?”

Lando: [laughs, rubbing the back of his neck] “Yeah, I guess I couldn’t keep her a secret forever, could I? Silverstone just made sense. It’s home for me, and it’s a special race, so... felt like the right time.”

Interviewer: “People were definitely surprised! Most fans had no idea you were even dating someone, let alone Elizabeth Treshton, a bestselling author. Was keeping it private a conscious decision?”

Lando: “Yeah, for sure. I mean, I like keeping my personal life… well, personal. But also, Lizzie’s got her own career, her own thing, and I wanted to make sure she was comfortable before anything went public. It’s a bit different from racing, but she’s got just as many passionate fans as we do in F1.”

Interviewer: “Speaking of passion—social media is having a meltdown over the fact that her dog, Mara, is at Silverstone wearing a Quadrant bandana that matches your helmet. Can you confirm if this was planned, or is this just peak marketing?”

Lando: [grinning] “Liz just thought it’d be funny. And honestly, it is. They are my good luck charm.”

Interviewer: “One last question before we let you go—now that she’s made her paddock debut, should we expect to see Elizabeth at more races?”

Lando: [shrugs, smirking] “We’ll see. I mean, she’s got books to write, but maybe if I ask nicely.”

Interviewer: “Alright, we’ll hold you to that. Thanks, Lando, and good luck tomorrow!”

Comments: 

@/RomantasyQueen: Wait wait wait—Lando called her Liz??? Since WHEN???

@/TwitchChamps: What if he’s the only one who calls her Liz? What if that’s like...their thing???

@/RomantasyReign: Lando Norris dating THE Elizabeth Treshton is the plot twist of the century. This crossover is feeding me in ways I didn’t know I needed.

@/TifosiTears: Not only is Lizzie a Ferrari fan, but she’s dating a McLaren driver??? The potential for absolute chaos in this relationship is INSANE, and I’m here for it.

@/GatekeepingGremlin: Ugh, why does every driver suddenly need to have a famous girlfriend? This feels so staged.

@/F1Bookworm: We’ve been sobbing over tragic, brooding fae princes for YEARS, and now Lizzie is with Lando, the most golden retriever boyfriend to ever exist. I love this for her.

@/MaraStanAccount: Mara being the true star of the paddock is the best part of this. Someone get this dog a tiny Quadrant hoodie ASAP.

@/BitterAndSalty: She’s a writer, big deal. What does she actually have to do with F1?

@/PitLaneGossip: The fact that Lando admitted Lizzie’s got fans just as passionate as F1 ones??? He understands the romantasy girlies are unhinged and will defend their queen. We’ve already claimed him as a book boyfriend now.

@/ConspiracyQueen: Funny how she’s suddenly at Silverstone and now everyone is talking about her. Feels like a marketing stunt, tbh.

@/WAGWatch: I love how Lizzie isn’t even a regular WAG. She’s an author. Like, imagine dating a race car driver and still being the most interesting person in the room.

@/LandoFangirl69: Lando soft-launching Lizzie was one thing, but Mara getting a full rebrand as an F1 celebrity dog was NOT on my 2024 bingo card.

7 July 2024 - Silverstone GP, Race Day

YouTube Transcript - FIA Post-Race Press Conference – Silverstone

Attendees: Lando Norris, Lewis Hamilton, Max Verstappen

Moderator: “Next question.”

Interviewer: [Clears throat.] “Lando, your relationship with Elizabeth Treshton has been in the spotlight. Given her epilepsy, do you ever worry about how that might affect your career and the demands of F1?”

Lando: [Blinks, frowning.] “Sorry, what?”

Interviewer: “Well, F1 is a high-pressure environment—constant travel, long hours, high stress. Do you ever consider whether being with someone who has a condition like that is… sustainable?”

Lewis: [Turns his head sharply.] “Excuse me?”

Max: [Squinting at the interviewer.] “Did you really just say that?”

Lando: [Slowly, voice dangerously calm.] “Are you asking me if Liz’s epilepsy is a problem for me?”

Interviewer: “No, no, I just meant—”

Lando: [Flatly.] “Because that’s what it sounds like.”

Interviewer: [Awkward chuckle.] “I meant in terms of logistics.”

Max: [Muttering.] “Logistics. Unreal.”

Lando: [Deadpan.] “Logistics.”

Interviewer: “Like—does it make things harder for you?”

Lando: [Leaning forward slightly.] “Harder for me? I’m not the one with epilepsy. She is. She’s the one managing it. And she does. Every day. It’s not an issue. It’s just part of her life.”

Interviewer: “But with the unpredictability—”

Lando: [Firmly.] “Life is unpredictable. That’s not a reason to not love someone.”

Lewis: [Shaking his head.] “I’ve heard a lot of nonsense in these press conferences, but this is a new low.”

Max: [Scoffs, crossing his arms.] “Yeah. This is disgusting.”

Interviewer: [Looking increasingly uncomfortable.] “I didn’t mean to imply—”

Lando: [Interrupting.] “You did imply it. And I don’t get it. You wouldn’t ask this if she had diabetes or asthma. Why is epilepsy different?”

Lewis: [Firmly.] “It’s not.”

Max: [Pointedly.] “Maybe we should be asking why you think it is.”

(A tense silence. The interviewer looks like they want the ground to swallow them whole. Lando exhales sharply, jaw tight.)

Lando: [Flatly.] “Liz is my girlfriend. I love her. End of story.”

Moderator: [Hurriedly.] “Next question.”

Comments: 

@/F1Fanatic99: Lando shutting that down IMMEDIATELY. No hesitation. No dodging. Just straight-up ‘I love her. End of story.’ That’s a man right there.

@/GridGossip: You can literally see Lando getting angrier with every follow-up question. This interviewer really thought they were onto something.

@/WheelToWheel: Max saying ‘this is disgusting’ and Lewis calling it a new low. They didn’t just stand by—they backed Lando and Lizzie. That’s respect.

@/McLarenUpdates: The way Lando just flat-out refused to give them any kind of negative soundbite about Lizzie’s epilepsy. That’s love.

@/EpilepsyAwareness: It’s rare to see someone in the public eye so openly defend a partner with epilepsy like this. Lando handled this perfectly. Thank you for using your platform the right way.

@/AlwaysDR3: I mean, the interviewer had a point?? F1 drivers have crazy schedules. It’s a valid concern.

@/SilverstoneStan: Lando saying Lizzie’s epilepsy isn’t hard for him… yeah, but he’s definitely making sacrifices. He should’ve just been honest.

@/SpeedDemon19: No, but actually… that interviewer should be ashamed. What an awful question to ask.

@/F1TeaSpill: I like Lizzie but let’s be real, she’s a liability for his career. The press will always focus on this now.

@/McLarenSuperFan: If she ever has a seizure during a race weekend and it distracts him, then what?

@/MaxsOrangeArmy: That interviewer was so desperate for Lando to say something awful, and instead, he got a masterclass in 'how not to be an ableist idiot.'

@/PitStopChaos: Mara (Lizzie’s dog) growling at the TV somewhere, I just know it.

@/ChaosInTurn1: Not Lando making this interviewer question every life decision they’ve ever made.

@/F1Wifey: The way Lando did not let them frame epilepsy as some kind of obstacle for him. He kept the focus on Lizzie and how she handles it. That’s how you love someone.

@/WheelToWheelGirl: Lewis and Max backing him instantly?? No hesitation?? It’s the kind of solidarity we love to see.

@/EpilepsyAdvocacy: The amount of people acting like epilepsy makes someone unworthy of love and stability is disgusting. Thank you, Lando, for not entertaining that nonsense.

@/RacingLogic: No one is saying he shouldn’t love her, but c’mon, it’s a fair question. F1 drivers have insane schedules.

@/ToxicMcLarenFan: Lando could’ve just said ‘we manage it well’ and moved on instead of acting like the interviewer just insulted his ancestors.

@/SilverstoneElite: I get that he’s in love or whatever, but acting like this isn’t a factor in his career is just naive.

@/PaddockInsider: Bet McLaren wishes they could tell him to not be so public about this. Sponsors might not like the drama.

@/PitLaneDrama: The moment Lando said ‘logistics?’ I felt the temperature in that room drop.

@/FIAConspiracyTheories: Can’t wait for the Netflix edit where they make it look like this ruined Lando’s season.

@/FastAndFearless: The way he shut that down so fast? He’s not just defending Lizzie, he’s making it very clear that ableism won’t be tolerated.

@/EpilepsyAwareness: Public figures treating epilepsy like a burden is so common. Seeing Lando refuse to play into that narrative means so much.

@/DriveItLikeItsHot: ’Life is unpredictable. That’s not a reason to not love someone.’ I AM SOBBING IN THE CLUB.

@/McLarenMadness: This interviewer really expected Lando to go, 'Yeah, you’re right, I should probably dump her' ???

@/F1GirlfriendGoals: Lando: ‘She makes my life better.’ Me: Crying in single.

@/CasualF1Fan: That interviewer woke up and chose ableism live on air and Lando was having NONE of it.

@/PurelyObjective: Lando’s getting defensive over nothing. It was a logistics question, not a personal attack.

@/UnbotheredMcLarenFan: I feel like this was an overreaction? He could’ve just said, ‘We make it work’ and moved on.

@/StrictlyBusiness: If you don’t think sponsors consider things like this, you’re naive. This is a discussion, whether you like it or not.

@/MaxFanButConfused: McLaren PR must be watching this with their heads in their hands like 'oh god, here we go again.'

@/MaxRageMode: Lando really said “You’re not gonna get the soundbite you want.

@/LandoSimps: Lando is so in love with Lizzie. He didn’t even hesitate before going to war for her.

@/WAGsInFormation: That interviewer really tried to frame epilepsy as a reason not to love someone. What year is it??

@/PaddockSpice: If looks could kill, Max and Lewis would’ve been the co-conspirators in The Murder of the Silverstone Interviewer.

@/FIAClownShow: If you listen closely, you can hear the exact moment McLaren PR started hyperventilating. @/McLarenPanicDepartment: “DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT WHETHER BEING WITH HER IS SUSTAINABLE??” Bro. That is insane to say out loud.

@/MaraForPresident: Mara better be getting so many extra treats for emotionally supporting Lizzie through this.

Is Lando Norris’ Relationship Hurting His Brand? By: James Carter, The Racing Report

When Lando Norris stormed to yet another podium at Silverstone, the home crowd erupted in cheers. The young Brit is one of Formula 1’s most promising stars—charming, talented, and a marketing goldmine. But while his on-track performance continues to impress, his off-track choices are raising eyebrows.

Namely, his relationship with fantasy author Lizzie Treshton.

It’s no secret that Formula 1 drivers tend to date models, influencers, and celebrities—women who embody the glamorous, jet-set lifestyle that comes with being in the pinnacle of motorsport. Treshton, by contrast, is an author of romantasy novels, a niche genre that, while popular, hardly screams luxury brand ambassador. More concerning, however, is the ongoing discourse surrounding her epilepsy, her service dog, and the apparent PR nightmare that comes with dating someone so fundamentally unaligned with the F1 image.

Let’s be honest—Lando Norris’ schedule is relentless. Grand Prix weekends involve constant travel, late nights, high-intensity racing, and overwhelming media obligations. In short, it’s not an environment suited to someone with a medical condition like epilepsy. While Norris has passionately defended his girlfriend against critics, one has to ask: is this sustainable?

It’s an uncomfortable question, but a necessary one. Relationships require compromise, and when one partner’s lifestyle is inherently at odds with the other’s career, problems arise. Norris insists that Treshton’s epilepsy “isn’t hard” for him, but realistically, how could it not be? He’s bringing her into an environment full of flashing lights, loud noises, and extreme stress—hardly ideal conditions for someone with a neurological disorder.

Beyond the logistics, there’s also the question of image. McLaren has spent years cultivating Norris as an approachable yet aspirational figure, a brand-friendly athlete with widespread appeal. That image is now being dragged into online firestorms, as Norris’ fanbase—usually one of the most engaged and loyal in motorsport—has become divided.

While Norris and Treshton’s relationship may be personal, in F1, nothing is truly private. The controversy surrounding Treshton has only intensified in recent weeks, from heated online debates to Norris’ now-viral post-race interview where he shut down a journalist for asking if her condition made his career harder. While some fans saw his response as commendable, others questioned why such discussions were necessary in the first place.

One thing is clear: Treshton is not a neutral presence in Norris’ career. Her online presence, her outspoken defense against critics, and even her service dog (yes, a Labrador now features in Norris’ F1 orbit) have sparked endless debates. The internet discourse isn’t just about Norris’ driving anymore—it’s about her.

And that’s the problem.

Lando Norris is 25 years old, at the peak of his career, and one of the most marketable drivers in Formula 1. The last thing he needs is unnecessary distractions. His fans adore him, his sponsors invest millions in him, and McLaren is banking on him to lead the team into its next championship era.

But in a sport where image is everything, is he making the right personal choices?

Time will tell. But one thing is certain: this relationship isn’t just about romance—it’s about reputation. And Lando Norris may soon have to decide which one matters more.

Comments:

@/F1Fangirl88: Imagine thinking a woman having epilepsy is a ‘PR nightmare.’ This article is disgusting.

@/PaddockInsider69: They have a point. F1 is a demanding career, and Lizzie’s health issues aren’t exactly an easy thing to manage. It’s a fair question.

@/McLaren4Life: Lizzie is literally just existing and these guys are acting like she’s some kind of controversy. Lando loves her. That should be the end of the discussion.

@/BrandManagerAnon: Lando is a brand, whether fans like it or not. And Lizzie is making that brand messy. This isn’t about love—it’s about business.

@/MaxFan_33: So women in F1 can only be models or influencers? God forbid a man date someone smart and successful in her own field.

@/EpilepsyAwarenessUK: The ableism is off the charts. Having epilepsy doesn’t make you a burden or a liability. It’s a medical condition, not a PR scandal.

@/McLarenPRRep: F1 is a high-profile world. Not every girlfriend can handle it, and honestly, Lizzie brings more drama than she’s worth.

@/FastCarsHotGirls: No offense but Lando could have literally any woman in the world and he chooses some nerdy author? Make it make sense.

@/WDC_OrNothing: Not saying she’s bad for him, but you do have to wonder if all this online drama is a distraction.

@/AntiRomantasyClub: Her books are cringe, she has zero charisma, and now she’s bringing a dog into the paddock? Lando deserves better.

@/GeorgeRussellThirstClub: This is why we don’t let men write articles.

@/MaraTheLabradorFan: DELETE THIS ARTICLE OR MARA WILL FIND YOU.

@/F1HotTakeKing: Not saying Lando should break up with her, but is he really thinking long-term? He’s 25, at his peak—does he want to spend his prime years worrying about his girlfriend’s medical issues?

@/GridGossip101: Look, we all love a good romance story, but let’s be real—Lizzie doesn’t exactly scream ‘F1 Girlfriend Material.’ She’s not glamorous, she doesn’t do grid walks, she’s not a model or an influencer. What does she bring to the table?

@/PRGuruAnon: If I were Lando’s management, I’d be deeply concerned. Fans love a cute WAG, but when your girlfriend starts trending for all the wrong reasons, that’s bad optics. Epilepsy is tragic, but F1 is about strength, not struggle.

@/RealTalkMotorsport: Lando’s brand is cool, fun, and youthful. Lizzie’s brand is book nerd who doesn’t even like clubbing or gaming. It’s like watching someone date their high school librarian.

@/GridRumorsDaily: Lando is a professional athlete in peak physical condition. Can we talk about how unfair it is that he’s dating someone who might not always be able to support his lifestyle? Relationships are a two-way street.

@/AnonymousPaddockInsider: Not saying McLaren should step in, but if I were Zak Brown, I’d be strongly advising Lando to rethink his public image. This isn’t just dating—this is business.

@/F1ImageConsultant: F1 is about performance, speed, and excellence. Lizzie’s whole vibe is soft, bookish, and… honestly kinda boring. This isn’t a good match.

@/GridGirlsAndGlamour: Look at the top WAGs—models, influencers, businesswomen. Lizzie writes fantasy books and brings a dog to races. Is this really the standard now?

@/AlphaMaleMotorsport: Men in high-performance careers need high-performance partners. I’m sorry, but a woman with a chronic illness and a stack of romance novels isn’t it.

@/RedBullInsider69: Lizzie being here is cute for now, but let’s see how long it lasts. We all know these drivers eventually upgrade.

YouTube Transcript – The Apex Take Episode 236

Hosts: Mark Daniels and Ryan Foley Title: Lando’s Girlfriend: Not a Model, Not an Asset?

Mark Daniels: All right, boys, let’s talk about Lando Norris and his, uh… let’s call it an interesting taste in women. (leans back, smirks)

Ryan Foley: Oh yeah, the one who writes those, what is it, fantasy romance books? (raises eyebrow, glances at notes like he can’t believe this is real)

Mark Daniels: Yeah, yeah, the “romantasy” or whatever they call it. (laughs, shaking head) Fae warriors and soulmates and—dude, I read a summary of one, and I swear it’s like a fever dream for lonely cat ladies.

Ryan Foley: (snorting) Right? Like, Lando could have anyone. Models, actresses, influencers—the kind of women you usually see around F1. (gestures vaguely, as if motioning to an imaginary lineup of supermodels) And instead, he’s with some chick who writes books about fairy kings and, what, magical smut?

Mark Daniels: Listen, I’m sure she’s a nice girl, (mockingly raises hands in defense) but let’s be honest—she doesn’t really fit the F1 WAG mold, does she?

Ryan Foley: (blinks slowly, smirks) Not at all. I mean, no offense, but when you think of an F1 driver’s girlfriend, you picture a certain kind of woman. You know, glamorous, stylish, jet-setting with him to every race. (shrugs, leans forward like he’s about to drop some deep wisdom) And instead, this one’s at home writing… whatever the hell she writes. And she’s definitely not doing runway shows in Monaco, let’s put it that way.

Mark Daniels: Yeah, I saw people trying to hype her up like, “She’s so successful in her own right!” (air quotes, exaggerated eye roll) But let’s be real, man—she writes books for teenagers who want to date elves. That’s not exactly Victoria’s Secret material. (laughs under breath)

Ryan Foley: And let’s not even get into the whole epilepsy thing. (leans back, crosses arms like he’s about to say something so reasonable) Like, I don’t wanna be that guy, but dude, how is that not a problem for Lando? The guy’s a professional athlete, constantly traveling, constantly under pressure—does he really need the extra stress? (shakes head, looking “concerned”)

Mark Daniels: That’s what I don’t get. I mean, yeah, he says it’s not a big deal, but come on. (tilts head, voice dripping with skepticism) She’s had seizures before! What happens if she has one in the middle of a flight? Or during a huge race weekend? (shrugs like he’s just being “practical”)

Ryan Foley: (leans closer, like he’s breaking it down logically) Exactly! Look, I get that he’s into her, but at some point, you have to wonder if it’s practical. Dating in F1 isn’t normal dating. These guys don’t have time for relationships that require a ton of extra effort. (shakes head, gesturing like it’s just common sense) And you know there are plenty of women who’d make his life easier.

Mark Daniels: (laughs, shaking head again) Right? Like, dude, you’re one of the most eligible bachelors in motorsport. You don’t have to date someone who writes about magical fae prince soulmates. You could just… I don’t know, date an actual model? (mock-thinks, looking up at the ceiling like it’s a groundbreaking idea)

Ryan Foley: It’s wild, man. (scoffs, shakes head) The guy’s got millions of options, and he’s out here choosing a book nerd with a health condition. Make it make sense.

Mark Daniels: Hey, maybe he’s just a nice guy. (grins, barely hiding the condescension) Or maybe he’s in too deep and doesn’t realize it yet.

Ryan Foley: We’ll see how long it lasts. (leans back, smirking like he knows something everyone else doesn’t)

Comments: 

@/F1HotTakes: Imagine dedicating an hour-long podcast to making fun of a woman who’s literally more successful than you. Y’all really sat down and said, ‘Let’s embarrass ourselves today.’

@/BookishF1Fan: Lizzie Treshton is a New York Times bestselling author with a global fanbase, and these guys run a podcast with 12 listeners and a ring light from Amazon. Maybe let’s not act like she’s the one who’s out of place here?

@/SpeedDemon99: So we’re just gonna pretend women in F1 HAVE to be models or influencers now? God forbid a driver dates someone with a real career. 

@/FaeQueenLizzie: This is so funny because Lizzie’s books sell millions of copies. Like, she could probably buy their entire podcast setup with a week’s worth of royalties. They’re out here roasting her while she’s out-earning them in her sleep

@/McLaren4Life:  The fact that they’re talking about ‘practical’ dating like Lando’s supposed to choose his girlfriend based on convenience… bro, it’s his relationship, not a logistics issue for DHL. 

@/EpilepsyAwareness: I don’t wanna be that guy, BUT—’ Congrats, you’re exactly that guy. Imagine thinking epilepsy makes someone unworthy of love. Clown behavior. 

@/F1Fanatic23:  The misogyny, the ableism, the absolute lack of self-awareness… this podcast really has it all. Can’t wait for Lando to ignore their existence while winning podiums. 

@/RealTalkF1: Look, they could’ve phrased it better, but they’re not wrong. Lando’s lifestyle is crazy—dating someone with a serious medical condition is complicated. 

@/BigManRacing: Why is everyone mad? They just said what people were already thinking. Lizzie doesn’t fit the usual WAG mold. That’s just facts. 

@/TruthHurts: Everyone’s so sensitive. Not every comment about a woman is misogyny. They weren’t even being that harsh. 

@/WAGsAreForModels: It’s called having standards. F1 drivers date models and actresses, not some chick who writes about elf sex. Be serious. 

@/LandoDeservesBetter69: Not to be rude, but they’re kinda right. Lando could have literally anyone. Why settle?

@/NoMoreNepotism: Bet she only got famous because of Lando. No one was talking about her books before this. Typical clout-chaser behavior. 

@/F1BookClub: Imagine being so insecure that you need to dunk on a woman who’s objectively more successful than you. Anyway, y’all should read An Autumn of Fire and Stone. Great book, would recommend. 

@/LandoFan14:  Lando: actually in love with Lizzie These guys: ‘But why isn’t she a model?’ Get a life, man. 

YouTube Transcript – Full Throttle & Fiction, Episode 32

Hosts: Tessa Lane & Jamie Foster 

Title: Lando Norris, Lizzie Treshton & The Romantasy/F1 Crossover of Our Dreams

(Podcast intro music plays, fading out as the hosts settle in.)

Tessa Lane: Okay, listen. I know we’re all still emotionally recovering from this revelation, but we need to talk about how we are actually living in a dream crossover event.

Jamie Foster: We’re talking “Marvel meets Star Wars” level of unexpected but completely legendary crossover. Lando Norris, F1’s beloved chaos gremlin, is dating Lizzie Treshton, queen of romantasy and the woman who has personally ruined our lives with her books. (clutches chest dramatically)

Tessa Lane: I still can’t believe this is real. Like, my two completely separate hyperfixations just decided to collide and make the internet combust.

Jamie Foster: (laughing) Same. I’m still trying to process it. Like, I spent years sobbing over her books, and now I find out she’s dating an F1 driver? And not just any F1 driver, but Lando Freaking Norris?

Tessa Lane: It’s actually the funniest thing ever because Lizzie—who writes about tragic, brooding fae princes and fated soulmates—is out here dating the human embodiment of a golden retriever. (laughs)

Jamie Foster: (grinning) And you just know that she’s mentally rewriting Lando as some kind of mischievous trickster fae lord who causes problems on purpose but in, like, a deeply endearing way.

Tessa Lane: Oh, 1000%. The next book she writes? The love interest is going to have “chaotic, drives really fast, makes bad jokes, but is secretly a sweetheart” energy. And we’ll all just know.

Jamie Foster: (mock serious) Lizzie, blink twice if Lando has started pitching plot ideas.

Tessa Lane: No, but actually. And can we talk about how people doubted her success? Like, some people were actually out here like, “Who is she?” as if this woman isn’t a New York Times bestselling author with millions of copies sold worldwide. (shakes head in disappointment)

Jamie Foster: Like, be serious. She’s out here building fantasy empires, and people want to act like she’s just some random? No, babes, she’s the moment. Some of us have been in the trenches with her books for years. We have suffered. We have cried. We have made fanart at 3 a.m. in emotional distress.

Tessa Lane: Her Twitter alone should’ve told people she was going to be a menace to the F1 world. She’s been unhinged for years, and now she has paddock access and a platform? We’ve already won.

Jamie Foster: Oh, she is going to thrive in this environment. Like, imagine her at a Grand Prix, just casually tweeting something like, “The real battle today is Charles vs. Carlos, but if either of them crash, I am writing them into my next book as cursed lovers destined for war.”

Tessa Lane: (wheezing) No, but let’s talk about the most important part of this entire situation—Mara. Lizzie’s Labrador service dog, aka the only WAG that matters.

Jamie Foster: Mara is a cultural reset. This dog is already more famous than half the grid. Like, she has fan edits. She has fan accounts. I saw someone tweet, “Mara could win a championship before Ferrari at this rate,” and I haven’t known peace since.

Tessa Lane: (mock gasps) Speaking of Ferrari… LIZZIE. IS. A. FERRARI. FAN. And not just casually. Like, she’s been ride or die for Ferrari since childhood. She’s a full-on Tifosi.

Jamie Foster: I just need to know… did she absolutely lose her mind when Lewis Hamilton announced he was moving to Ferrari? Did she faint? Did she ascend? Did she write a 10,000-word emotional essay about how this is the greatest thing to ever happen to the sport? Because I feel like she did.

Tessa Lane: Oh, she definitely had a meltdown. Like, I just imagine Lando coming home and finding her sitting in complete silence, staring at a Ferrari poster, just whispering, “Seven-time world champion. In red.”

Jamie Foster: (laughing) And meanwhile, Lando’s standing there like, “So… you’re gonna support me at McLaren, right?” And Lizzie just does not answer.

Tessa Lane: (grinning) She’s just like, “Babe, I love you, but this is bigger than us.”

Jamie Foster: Honestly, this entire thing is the best thing to happen to F1 pop culture in years. Final thoughts?

Tessa Lane: Lizzie Treshton is an icon. Lando is lucky. Mara is royalty. And the romantasy x F1 crossover is the serotonin boost we all needed.

Jamie Foster: Couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, everyone go pre-order Lizzie’s next book and prepare for the chaos she’s about to unleash in the paddock. (blows kiss to camera, grinning)

(Outro music fades in as the episode ends.)

Comments: 

@/FaerieQueen89: I swear I opened this video thinking, “No way, this crossover is real,” and now I’m emotionally INVESTED. Lizzie Treshton writing romantasy by day and attending McLaren garage debriefs by night is the kind of duality I aspire to.

@/Mara4WDC: Mara being the first Labrador to achieve WAG status is actually the most important part of this. Somebody get her a tiny team jacket and a paddock pass.

@/TifosiTears: “Babe, I love you, but this is bigger than us.” SCREAMING The fact that Lizzie is a lifelong Ferrari fan and her fave driver is Lewis Hamilton makes this 1000x funnier. Lando fighting for his life against her deeply rooted Ferrari loyalty.

@/BookishChaos: Can’t wait for Lizzie’s next book where the broody, fae warrior prince just happens to have suspiciously Lando-esque traits. Like, “his eyes gleamed with mischief as he smirked, trouble always one step behind him.”

@/CertifiedMcLarenMenace:  Lando: “You’re supporting me at McLaren, right?” Lizzie: intensely staring at a Ferrari poster “Seven-time world champion. In red.”

@/F1AndFantasyForever:  I was today years old when I realized my two greatest hyperfixations could actually merge into one chaotic, beautiful mess. We are LIVING in the golden age.

@/ElvenKissesAndRaceCars: Romantasy book fans: crying over soulmates and prophecy-driven love stories F1 fans: crying over tire degradation and strategy calls Me, now realizing I can be BOTH: SOBBING IN ITALIAN

@/MaraStan69: Mara supremacy. She’s the real main character. Lizzie and Lando are just side quests in her journey to world domination.

@/LandoPlsConfirm:  I need Lando to address this IMMEDIATELY. Does he know his girlfriend’s books have emotionally destroyed half the internet? Does he know we have trauma?

@/ChaosGremlinXL: I came for the F1 gossip. I stayed because now I need to read every book Lizzie has ever written.

@/MaxForMara: Someone please put Mara in a Ferrari cap so we can confirm which team she supports. This is IMPORTANT.

@/McLarenBookClub: If you had told me last year that one of the most successful romantasy authors on the planet would be dating Lando Norris, I would have laughed. And yet, here we are. The crossover NOBODY predicted, but EVERYONE needed.

@/FaerieTalesAndFastLaps: Lizzie going from writing about fae warriors to sitting in the McLaren garage like it’s totally normal… Ma’am, are you aware you are LIVING in a fantasy novel? The girl with epilepsy who was never supposed to have this life, thriving in a world of speed, chaos, and international fame. Like, GIVE US THE BOOK.

@/WitchesAndWheelTracks: Me: “I don’t have time for a new hyperfixation.” Also me: scrolling through every single Lizzie Treshton tweet and trying to find evidence of Lando references in her books

@/RedBullButMakeItRomantasy: The way she could write a book about the F1 grid as if they were a fantasy court and it would SELL. Max as the battle-worn fae king. Lando as the mischievous prince who never takes things seriously until he does. Charles as the tragic heir with a prophecy on his shoulders. IT WRITES ITSELF.

@/TifosiTrash: Lando really fell for a girl who would 1000% choose Ferrari in a heartbeat. The irony is delicious.

@/JustHereForMara: Mara being the unexpected star of this relationship is something I deeply respect. She’s not just a service dog, she’s a cultural icon.

@/RomantasyAndRacing:  Lizzie fans: “She has changed our lives with her writing.” F1 fans: “She has changed our lives by making Lando’s life infinitely funnier.”

@/IlPredestinatoWife: CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT LIZZIE MET LEWIS HAMILTON. THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN A FERRARI FAN HER WHOLE LIFE. HER FAVORITE DRIVER IS LEWIS. DID SHE CRY? DID SHE PANIC? LANDO, GIVE US THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES.

@/ElvenQueenOfSpa:  This woman has had multiple New York Times bestsellers, a legendary romantasy series, a loyal fanbase that would riot for her… and now she’s dating one of the biggest names in F1. She is the moment.

@/Gasly’sCroissant:  Does this mean Lando is now legally required to read her books? I need this man live-reacting to An Autumn of Fire and Stone.

@/MaraForPaddockPass:  Mara needs a tiny headset. I need Lando to carry her into the paddock like the royalty she is.

@/ChaosGoblinV2:  Lando: “Babe, can you come to my race?” Lizzie: in a Ferrari shirt, holding a Lewis Hamilton book “Uhhhhh….”

@/KnightOfMcLaren:  Her books are all about fate, destiny, and soulmates. I need to know if she secretly believes she and Lando are fated. I NEED ANSWERS.

@/SoftForSoulmates: Lando and Lizzie being a thing is proof that life is just a long, weird fantasy novel and we are all side characters.

[year2000electronics]

i still can't believe y2kvr was concieved five years ago.

it all feels like it was just yesterday. i had never gotten much attention at all on this blog, or anywhere on the internet, really, but with hlvrai i was enjoying some real success! people were reblogging my posts! it felt good. and then i went "hey, what if hlvrai had an old internet au"? and for some reason that i still couldn't explain to you- especially since i had NEVER done anything like it before- i decided to make an ask blog

i thought it would get like maybe 5, 10 questions.

i was very wrong.

i guess that's why the hlvrai series has also been a really personal thing to me, because it changed my life a lot like hlvrai's popularity boom for rtvs did. i had eyes on me for the first-ever time in my life, and it was amazing and wonderful and terrifying all at the same time and nothing will ever be like that again. even today, most people i ask about me will know me from y2kvr. i think it was my peak of getting something out there- my legacy- and honestly, i'm alright with that. i'm still proud of what i wrote and drew, even if it was so, so many years ago

i like to be positive about my own stuff, but the truth about y2kvr is that i'm not a genius writer. i struggle with it a lot. i feel like my dialogue and prose is strange and hard to get into. i feel like my explanations can get convoluted. my art really isn't perfect. it's not broadly appealing or particularly jaw-dropping. a lot of people find it ugly. y2kvr really wasn't something that was inevitably going to take off. i'm just a normal person who happens to like to draw and write. i just got lucky, that's all.

but i think what i would like for people to take away from y2kvr, even all these years later, is that i think i was still able to make something special that people liked despite that. that i found an audience even with my own fixer-upper art and writing.

everyone's got a story to tell. don't be afraid to tell yours. it'll do the world some good.

happy fifth birthday, y2kvr.

thank you to everyone who gave it a chance to be exist.

[corvessa]

A Studio Door, a Thrown Headset, and the Calm That Caught It

a/n: failed an exam today and decided if i’m going down, so is reader. she’s yelling. she’s losing. she’s in her villain arc and theo is just trying to moisturize in peace. sorry to theo. sorry to the skincare brand. not sorry to riot games.

Summary: In one room, you're a high-energy, chaos-driven streamer mid-rant about a game that’s testing your will to live. In the next, your boyfriend Theodore Nott is trying to quietly promote skincare and read classic literature without flinching. Opposites may attract—but they also occasionally scream over each other’s livestreams.

The camera shows Theodore Nott on a plush couch, dressed like a Vogue model—loose linen shirt, a book open beside him, warm golden light painting his cheekbones. His phone is set up on a stand for an Instagram Live. His voice is soft, almost sleepy.

“Hey, everyone,” he says, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Just got back from set. Thought I’d go live for a bit, answer some questions… and yeah, today’s product is the Lotus & Ivy serum. Still using it. Still glowing, apparently.”

He leans into the camera, twisting open the bottle. His tone is calm, borderline ASMR.

A muffled yell breaks through the walls “OH MY GOD. NO WAY. WHAT WAS THAT MOVE?!”

He freezes for a beat. “You may hear something… spirited… in the background.”

The chat floods in:

-she’s gaming again isn’t she 😭 -I’d recognize that scream anywhere -internet’s favorite chaotic girlfriend -protect theo from splash damage pls

Theo lifts the serum slightly, trying to resume his sentence. “It’s really lightweight, and if you— YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE!!!”

“—use just two drops— I’M LOSING MY SANITY!”

He blinks slowly, pressing his lips together in patient silence. The chat is in hysterics.

- Does she know you’re live too?? - This is peak opposites-attract content.

Theo sighs “She knows. She’s just… in the zone.”

Cut to: Your Stream

You’re mid-game, headset on, practically bouncing in your chair. “WHY are you walking in alone?! What are you DOING?!”

Your chat is both invested and losing it.

Mod:Theo’s trying to sell skincare and you’re screaming about poor decision-making again. -His live has the vibes of a spa. Yours feels like a rock concert in hell.”

“Thanks,” you say breathlessly. “We balance each other out.”

Back to Theo’s Stream

He’s trying to read an excerpt from a novel (something melancholy, of course), when a shadow slips into frame behind him. You.

You dramatically flop onto the couch beside him, headset still on, eyes wide. “Guess who just lost four games in a row.”

He doesn’t even look surprised. “You did.”

You take a deep sigh. “Because the universe hates me.”

Theo gently adjusts your headset off your ears. “The universe doesn’t hate you, love. It just—occasionally challenges you.”

You give him a smile. “You're lucky you’re hot.”

Theo looks at the camera and deadpans. “This is my life now.”

Chat explodes again:

-THEY’RE TOGETHER ON LIVE I’M CRYING -He’s the calm and she’s the storm -This is my Roman Empire

You lean into the camera with mock menace. “Hey chat. Wash your faces. Moisturize. And don’t facecheck a bush without vision. That’s how you die.”

Theo just blinks at you. “...You want to help with the serum demo?”

“Only if I get to scream about it like it’s a boss fight.”

He smiles. Quiet, indulgent.

“Of course you do.”

[midnightshindig]

allen x human reader hc’s?

Allen x Reader hcs

Probably my last one for today, apologies if it's a bit short!

I love this prompt and I love Allen ughhgfdaofjdgfof shout out s3e4 for literally having me foaming at the mouth

No S3 spoilers for this one!

He's surprisingly normal for an alien

Like, he brushes his teeth, showers, goes on dates, etc

but there's some cool things you get to introduce him to:

Concerts, are a big one, live entertainment isn't really feasible where he's from

But he looooves movies, and shows you all the best alien movies he grew up on

If you're a superhero, he loves training with you

We know Allen, he likes em strong

if not, he probably joins you on your preferred mode of exercise, if you do a sport or something, he'll get into it

You guys take couples boxing lessons together, and he picks it up really quickly

Now that he's on Earth and doesn't have to worry about a fear of PDA, and so he's alllll over that shit

he likes to hold your hand all the time like literally all the time HOLD THIS MANS HAND

that being said, he's also very gestural, so he's holding your hand with one hand and gesturing as he speaks with the other

it works fine enough for him

He loves to carry you, you humans are so lightweight!

Doesn't matter how big you are this guy is just throwing you around for fun

super sad to find out you can't breathe in space

so he settles for taking you flying within Earths limits

He's a big cuddler

takes up like your entire bed and has you lay on top of him

he enjoys it very much

likes to kiss the top of your head as you rest on him

there's something about your rythymic breathing that lulls his own body to sleep

Lots of human stuff is intriguing to him, like, for example: you dream?

He's never known another species to dream

And when you ask, you can't really explain why you dream, just that you do

So he gets like, really into dreams

he wants to analyze them and predict things with them he finds them FASCINATING

in the same way no Viltrumite would think of flying as a superpower- it's just how all Viltrumites work-- Humans don't think of dreaming as a power, just as a bodily function.

and he's sooooo intruiged

maybe a little jealous

so you start making up dreams and narrating them to him while he lays with his eyes closed, head in your lap

It's difficult to look good in photos with him

you know, because he's orange?

But you guys find good color combos and make it work

You guys look great <3

Meeting your parents is hilariously unhinged

Your mom is a little worried about the.... logistics.... of it all

while your dad tries so hard to treat him like a normal human it loops back into being rude

"So.... Allen.... have you considered how you'll have children?"

"MOMWHATTHEFUCK"

Allen can literally only laugh and cover his face with a hand in embarrassment "I mean- Unopans are compatible with a lot of species, I think if that's what Y/n and I wanna do, then it'll be fine"

oh my god this is so embarrassing

and your dad just gives Allen shrimp with the tail on, not explaining you have to take the tail off-

or maybe not bc he's just crunching those fuckers up oh my god

and everyone's a little grossed out

but it goes well, and they like him, and you guys have their approval

hooray

Allen sometimes feels bad that you plan all the dates (you don't mind, really) so he tries to plan you a date

back with the confederation, he was a pretty good cook

so he picks a recipe off the internet and makes it for you

But like. He can kind of eat anything

and it doesn't occur to him that eating raw meat could be.... bad for you?

So he gives you food poisoning and you have to go to the ER

but it's okayyyy you're alright, he feels terrible about it though

You guys are all in all a pretty low-key couple

You go to lunch at a diner together, stay home and see a movie, big cuddling people for sure

Allen Is SO Funny

but in that casual way where he cracks you up while folding laundry

like who cares that he's an alien this is peak domestic bliss

and he wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world

[cosmousee]

🌺♥ Themes of June ♥🌺

Hey there lovelies! Hope y’all have been doing well! It was such a lovely day todayyy! I mean it rained so much I had to ask for work from home (I was not about to tackle Mumbai rains on my own dear GOD, anyway I have one more week left of internship and then I can go back!!)

Okay focus.

Half a year has passed ALREADY? Can you believe it? I can’t bro, so much has happened it feels like a year in itself lmao. I am gonna do monthly readings from now on, so I can try to stay consistent and not go MIA every other month ;-;

And I think(?) we’ve got some important transits in the month of June as well, so yay!

Okay reading time! Remember to take what resonates and pass on the rest🥰

(I've not proofread, I never do, and there might be manyyy errors okay so just pls bear w me thanks😭)

1>>2>>3

Ｐｉｌｅ １

Heya Pile 1, I feel like you’re examining a situation from very upclose. Like you’ve got the most powerful magnifying glass, the most powerful microscope and you’re all up in the business of whatever it is you’re focusing on.

It is giving me career related vibes. There might be a job offer that you see on the internet, and before you apply you’re just making sure that it’s not a fake one, you’re carefully checking the sources of the job offer, and just basically making sure it is very very legit before you apply for it.

For others, you might get the offer letter, or the job contract and you’re READING the fuck out of it. Like line after line, being very thorough, you are making sure that the contract is right and there’s no miscommunications or stuff in the contract which you do not know about.

I feel like your field is very competitive and filled with people who have the skills, the education, the qualifications, the work experience, and whatnot. That might make job opportunities harder to come back, as the candidate pool is too big (the HR in me is really thriving bro).

I feel the job you’ve scored might’ve been after trying so hard way too many times. However, you’re still not losing sight of yourself that “Whew offer letter came let’s just accept and see what happens”.

You’re very particular and you want to be sure that the terms and conditions are actually what y’all discussed. You won’t be willing to accept just anything and everything what the company is providing you.

You’ve got your standards set and you want the company to meet them and nothing less. Like it can’t be different AT ALL especially in a way which is below your standards.

The pedestal you’ve put yourself on is a very appropriate one and you aren’t asking for more than you deserve (although that’d be fun) but you are also very sharp and very rigid on what you SHOULD get.

Not only this, you’ve got your eyes peeled, like I feel you’ve got a 360॰ view at the moment. Your periphery vision is at its peak and you’re very vigilant of any movements which are happening around you.

I feel like, since this feels like a very career oriented pile, (this might be the main theme for you in June), you could be very into what are the current market trends, the stock market, what’s the big news regarding companies. You could just be on LinkedIn trying to figure out the big news about companies, any launches, any open positions etc etc. Or you know have any other site open to gather more information.

Like you feel like a spy to me and you’ve got eyes on everything.

This might be a very big perspective shift for you. You might not have realised that getting jobs is THIS hard (it is honey Im so sorry), and you’d be a little child in this giant oyster ass world and you’d be like “Heh, I’ve applied and I’ll get it”.

I— It’ll get better, I hope. I'm still on the naive little child side on these things so I cannot give better advice😭

Have a great June, however much you can~

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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Ｐｉｌｅ ２

Heya pile 2! While shuffling your cards I was singing “Pretty little baby~” (I just watch too much reels) so might resonate with y’all.

Idky but I saw these, and I got very spring vibes. Why would I get spring vibes in peak summer I have 0 clue.

But okay I think I figured it out.

I feel like you’re clearing something, like some exam or I think you toiled a lot for something, you did so much hard work for the thing, like months, years kinda situation which is finally clearing out.

You might be getting the results, for college, entrances or something like that. I mean that was the first vibe I got. Why is your pile also giving career-ish. Damn maybe June IS a month for career.

Anywho, it just feels like a big win. It’s like you worked on a painting for so long and put your heart and soul into it and now you’re finally gonna get to see it in an art exhibition or like show it to people on a larger scale.

I feel like you’re gonna get a fan following, like you’ll have people who support you, a community of some sort. They’re cheering you on, they are there for your victory and they are also so so happy and appreciative of everything that has led you to this moment.

It can also be one to reflect on the past and your path that you chose while coming to this destination. It’s not telling you to see what other paths you could’ve taken, but just finally take in this one.

Absorb everything which happened, nurse yourself if the path took way too much of your energy and you couldn’t focus on it at the time as you had to complete your task.

Now that you’ve achieved your goal, sit, relax and take a breather. It’s gonna be a new start in your life I feel, since I got spring vibes and the flower. But before that you’ll have to replenish all your resources. You’ll have to make sure you are okay and recharged before starting the next journey.

Don’t start it right away, as it can cause extreme burnout. Taking a little time off won’t hinder you at all. Call your energy back to yourself, just sit with yourself. Feel the warm sun on your face as you sit near your window, sipping your coffee with your favorite music on.

Look back at all the sacrifices you made, to your energy, to your mental health to reach this stage. Thank all of that, thank yourself and celebrate yourself for making it so so far and be so proud of yourself.

June would be very relaxing for you I feel, you’ll be calm, you’ll be enjoying. You’ll feel the air you’re breathing is fresher, you might find the trees you look at everyday, look greener, more full of life.

You might have not had the time to appreciate the beauty around you. But now that the pressure is all off, you can wear your rose-tinted glasses (or really whatever colour glasses you prefer) and look at the world.

It’s been waiting for you, I feel like the world missed having you look at it and appreciate it because you went MIA for human being tasksTM.

Have a good June y’all!

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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Ｐｉｌｅ ３

Hmm, Pile 3 I feel like, there’s a situation where you’re unable to see the full picture. When I tried meditating, all I could see was black. I feel like you maybe be blindfolded in this situation. Ofcourse metaphorically, I feel someone is not letting you see the whole picture, they might be hiding things from you, or just giving you only a few pieces of information.

I feel they might not have the best intent for you in mind when they are hiding so much from you. Page of cups was the last card that came out and after I laid them out, I accidentally flipped it over. I feel like that person is the one we’re talking about.

They are not revealing their true nature to you. Since it’s a page it feels like a person who’s quite young, inexperienced and they might be trying to sort of unethically steal your experiences. You get me?

Like one is, “Hi, I need some help, do you mind?” and one is acting like they're interested, so you just tell them things just because they're curious, not knowing what their intentions are, its kinda like that. I feel they are behind the opportunities you may provide them if they hang out with you enough, since you’re at a different position from them, a higher position I feel like.

This is not exactly giving me career vibes, like I got in the previous two piles. But I don’t know what it is, it’s very deceiving. Finally, I got the word.

Even they might show you something, or offer you something which you might need, or you know just be glad to have that and you would happily accept that offer without knowing where the offer is stemming from.

I’m not getting exactly what it is, but it feels like they’ve dressed up their offer so well that you’re so impressed that you’re just ready to accept. But you don’t know how many coats of paint they’ve applied to cover their mistakes, how many jewels were needed to cover up the gaps. It’s just shiny on the outside and pretty PRETTY broken from the inside, and it’ll actually be of no use to you, even if you feel that you can go and correct it yourself.

It’s giving evil mastermind to me I don’t know why. Its a very cunning and manipulative person, who’s very sweet to you on your face but is a completely different person behind the scenes.

Just be careful when you’re dealing with them. Always trust your gut. I’m not telling you to go and accuse that person left, right centre with no proof. But, just be wary for your own sake.

Pay attention to detail if they bring up something for you, a gift, a project or something, still can’t figure out what it IS.

See it’s concealed so well that I can’t even pick up on its energy. Okay and, just a disclaimer, it might not even be this serious IRL. It’s just what the cards are showing me ;-;

Pile 3, please I am TELLING you, you’ve got to come back to me and let me know if a situation like this turned out or not. I also felt very deja vu while writing this, have I written something like this before? I don’t remember it at all, it was also giving me the vibe that I was trying to explain more to y’all but someone just came and they were like “girl you gotta go!” and they snatched me away and this was all I could tell you in the moment.

Phew, that felt big.

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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[lvrspiastri]

How to deal with a bad result. A comprehensive guide. ˡˢ²

reminder that requests are open just check out the guidelines :)

masterlist

PAIRING: Logan Sargeant/Gender-Neutral!Reader

SUMMARY: He had a bad race. He finds his reprieve in you. Gender-Neutral reader-- no use of pronouns.

WORDS: 2k

TAGS/WARNINGS: 18+, smut, sex, unprotected sex, anal sex, ice play, rough sex, oral sex, grinding, boobs, orgasm denial, orgasm edging, kinks, daddy kink, dom/sub, dom logan, sub reader, dirty talk, blowjob, tie kink, belt, BDSM, spanking, filming, porn, tldr: THIS FIC IS FUCKING FILTHY READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION

The hotel room wall shakes as Logan slams the door upon entering. He doesn’t even bother looking at you as his feet carry him to the mini-fridge. You can’t help but feel for the boy who’d managed a solid P10 in Qualifying only to crash out a couple laps before the chequered flag. His wins had always felt like your own, and his losses impacted you just as hard. You watch him pour the whiskey on the countertop into a glass after obtaining ice from the fridge. He makes his way to the armchair, sighing as he sips, the ice rattling against the glass. 

Logan has always been the type of person to overthink and be harsh on themselves. You don’t have to look at him to know the turmoil going in his head right now. You’d been his grounding force in times like these, bringing the boy back to earth and stopping the self-deprecation. 

“Baby, you were doing really well. You reached one of the top speeds today. Good job.” His hand just clenches his glass tighter, the clanks of the ice getting louder. “Bad luck today but we’ll get ‘em next time, won’t we?” He lets out a soft scoff in disbelief. When he downs the rest of the glass, the ice cube falls into his mouth. The glass is placed on the table and his hand makes its way to his thigh. He rubs the cloth-covered skin before patting it once. Twice. Thrice. He doesn’t need to voice it out. 

You oblige almost immediately, slowly settling on his thigh. His gaze is hard as he looks at you, the faint sounds of the ice cubes against his teeth and the buzz of the lights being the only sounds in the room. Goosebumps arise on your flesh as he lets his hand travel up your thigh and wrap around your waist. He lets his head tilt back and you have the perfect view of his Adam’s apple bobbing. Although, he doesn’t speak. His fingers wordlessly find their way to your shirt buttons, skilfully undoing them and parting the fabric so he has a view of your glorious bare chest. You don’t miss the light smirk that crosses his face. Many a times had he played with your tits for comfort, squeezing and sucking the flesh like his own personal toy. 

He spits out the ice cube in the palm of his hand, saliva closely following. It slides to his fingers and he smirks, bringing the solid to your nipples and swirling it around the peak. You hiss, the coolness of the object making it hurt and feel mind-boggling at the same time. 

“That’s it,” he mutters softly. “Easy does it.” His circles are slow and tantalising, his eyes trained on every micro expression that crosses your face. His twisted smile gets wider as you groan and squirm on his lap, your hardened peaks glistening. “So pretty. I almost wanna take a picture of it and frame it. Maybe we’ll film a porno and post it on the internet, hm? That way, everybody will know just how maddening you are. And that you get fucked by me like this. Only me.” His teeth grab the ice cube and he uses his mouth to stimulate your nipples, letting out throaty laughs every time you whine and twitch. He could already feel the ache between your legs, your arousal incredibly prominent. “Oh, you whore.” He pulls away, crunching the rest of the ice and swallowing it. “Bed. Naked.”

You nod immediately and strip as quickly as you can, nearly ripping your clothes off as your growing horniness makes you increasingly desperate for the wonderful sex this man can give you. As you settle on the bed, he grabs the ice tray from the fridge and places it on the night stand by the bed. He’s pleased with your efficiency, eyeing your naked form and stretched out legs, giving him a sinful view of your aching core. He lets out a curse under his breath and undoes his belt, pulling it out of the loops. But before you have the opportunity to register his actions, he’s grabbed your arms and uses the belt to bind your wrists together, securing a strong hold that’s likely to leave your skin red. 

Logan is typically very vanilla. He prefers to use his own assets to bring you to your peak rather than external objects. He’s open to try new positions and locations but the boy would have to be incredibly angry or upset to actually be adventurous, indicating his present mood. But you know how depressed he could get and you never hesitate to be a form of relief for him. He crawls onto the bed, hands pulling the shirt off his torso and granting you a view of his abs. Your eyes trail over his muscles and his tits, taking in the sculpted man right before you—a scene you would never get used to. He’d tease you about your unwavering stare on a normal occasion but today was anything but normal. His hands find the pocket of his jeans and he pulls out his phone, pointing the camera at your visibly tense centre. He chuckles, hitting the record button. 

“This is for when I’m away and you’re not there, okay?” He moves the camera in between your legs, capturing every angle of you. “So I can jerk myself off to the sight of you.” He uses his free hand to undo the button of his pants and unzip them, using the same hand to shimmy them down while exploring your naked body on the camera. His boxers peel off with the motion and he takes his hard length in between his hand, pumping slightly. “You’re a good baby for me, love, aren’t you?" You nod eagerly, eyes fixated on the pre-cum that leaks out of his tip. “Yeah? Come and suck Daddy off, then.” You waste no time moving to your knees and letting him ram his cock into your mouth, almost gagging at the force of his thrust. His free hand tangles in your hair, moving your head to the right pace while filming you. Your eyes look up at him as you deepthroat him, tears beginning to pool at the corners. “Good slut. O-Oh- fuck. What a good slut.” 

He moves his hips to help your head, essentially fucking your mouth. Your eyes never leave the camera, even when you begin to cry. The vision of him in a hotel room alone after a long day of training, stroking his dick to the footage of you whilst calling your name is a turn on. He gets rougher with his thrusts, the grip on your hair tightening enough for it to hurt as he pounds into your mouth, pouring his day’s frustrations into the movement. You feel his cock twitch and you eagerly wait for the oncoming orgasm on your tongue, craving the salty cream. But it doesn’t come. He pulls out, watching the saliva drip from your mouth as you let out a gagging noise. He uses his hair to pull you up and licks the spit off your chin, cleaning you up. The jolts sent to your stomach make you forget about the lack of cum on your tongue. 

His movements are rapid. He doesn’t spare a minute to think before your ass is up in the air for him and he delivers a few hard slaps to your cheek before rubbing it. “You look good like this.” Slap. “All bent over for me, my precious.” Slap. “I'm gonna fuck you until the hotel kicks us out, baby.” Slap. “Until I can’t come anymore and your muscles are moulded to the shape of my cock.” Slap. You see him place the phone on the headboard, the back camera filming every little interaction. He’s gonna have the time of his life with the footage. It would make a solid porn video. He lies on his back and slides his face under you, strong hands gripping your thighs as he lowers your hips to his mouth. Once the contact’s made between your core and his mouth, he gets to work. His tongue skilfully laps up every bit of arousal that stemmed from the blowjob you gave him, his warm and wet mouth sucking and licking to bring you toe-curling pleasure. “So sweet, baby. You taste so fucking good.” You fuck his face, moving your hips to assist him, the groans he lets out and the sinful sounds of his tongue leaving your mind in a haze.

“Fuck…Logan…” you whisper out, burying your face in a pillow to surpress sounds loud enough to wake up the entire hotel. His hands roam the vast expanse of your thighs, rubbing and squeezing the soft flesh as his cheeks hollow, sending you screaming into the pillow. But he decides he’s gonna be cruel tonight, pulling his mouth away before you can finish. He wants to make the final orgasm as good as possible, meaning you were in for a lot of edging tonight. “Logan!” You whine, pushing your hips down to his mouth again but his grip stops you as he slides out from underneath you and presses his front against you. 

“If you think I’m gonna be the least bit good to you tonight, you are so wrong,” he spits out. “You are my reprieve tonight, which means you do as I say. This isn’t about your pleasure.” He leans into your ear, biting the earlobe. “It’s about mine.” He lands another smack to your ass before gently kneading the flesh. He licks a stripe up your ass, tongue flicking out at the hole. Your guttural moan has him chuckling softly. He grabs an ice cube from the tray beside the bed and traces it around your hole—gently. Your body jerks and sputters at the cold, cold feeling as you gasp and bury your face deeper into the pillow. “That’s it. Good slut. What a good baby you are.” 

He presses the cube on the tight entrance, slowly shoving it in, making you shudder. The cube feels big to begin with, the coolness of the ice bringing a new wave of pleasure never experienced before. His finger pushes the ice further down your insides. He does so with three more cubes, taking his time with each one while you squirm without a complaint like a good thing for him. He’s very pleased to see how respectful you’re being and decides to make your day. He brings his hand to your mouth, tone demanding. “Spit.” You gather your saliva and eject it into his outstretched palm. He brings the slimy juice to his cock and hisses, spreading it all over the length like lube. He then lines himself up at your entrance and slowly inserts himself, taking it inch by inch to reduce the pain. Despite his sour mood, he would never hurt you in such a way. This was a new experience as it was and he didn’t wish to hurt his little baby. Yet. The ice cubes shimmy further down your tract to fit his cock, the coolness hitting parts of your body you didn’t know felt good. When his cock rests in you smugly, he begins to thrust roughly. No slow, gentle thrusts but harsh, quick thrusts right off the bat. The stretch you felt was delicious and you were sure you wouldn’t last very long. 

Soft curses and grunts escape the boy as he quite literally pounds into you. His hands maintain a death grip on your hips, the hotel bed beginning to creak. But fuck that. He’d pay for anything if it meant the two of you had explosive sex. “Fuck…baby…I’m gonna come…Gonna…spill into your tight little hole…” With a guttural groan, he finishes inside you and you feel the warm seed spread inside your ass, a contrast to the numbing ice cubes. You didn’t get to cum, though. But who’s he to care? He pulls out gently, bending down to catch his cum spilling out into his mouth before it spoils the sheets. He keeps it in his mouth before turning you over and looming over you, bringing his mouth to your own. He forces your mouth to open with his hand and lets the cum drip into your mouth. You invite the creamy liquid warmly, frothing at the mouth with it. He grabs the recording phone and films the filth. “So pathetic.” He turns off the recording and discards his phone off to the side before his lips attack you, moving against you slowly as you swallow the cum. 

He pulls away with a pop and gets off the bed, stretching. “I need me a shower,” he yawns, opening his suitcase. You sit up, flabbergasted. 

“Baby, I haven’t come yet.”

“I know,” he comments casually, pulling out night clothes and boxers. 

“…I need you.”

“Do you?” 

“Mhm.”

“Shame,” you don’t miss the smirk on his face. “Touch yourself, pretty baby.” You gesture to the belt wrapped around your hands, effectively binding them. “Ohh. Sad.” And with that, he walks off to the bathroom as you’re left needy and tied. 

He deserved the DNF.

[directdogman]

Hi, I hope you're having a decent day! I'm sorry if this is an invasive set of questions - feel free not to answer - but do you still actively like DSaF as your own creation, or is it more of a "it was fun while it lasted but i outgrew it and it's for the best to leave it behind" kind of project? Do you ever regret making the games? If you knew they would get so popular, is there anything you would have changed about them? Is there anywhere I could read more of your writing.

It fluctuates a bit. These last couple of years, I've really just been sorta nostalgic for it. I've seen a lot of people discuss those games being a source of comfort during bad times in their lives, people talking about how much the characters mean to them and it's hard not to smile when you see that.

It's a funny thing for close friends of yours to see people WITH fanmade DSaF merch out in the wild, or to watch a random youtube video and being hit with a DSaF reference outta nowhere. It happens from time to time, even today. On a few occasions, I've even had a person reference my work to me in real life and not realize who they were talking to, believe it or not. It's really fun to play dumb and get someone to explain your work to you like you don't know what it is.

I certainly didn't think any of that would happen when I first made the series, or even during development. I think the normal assumption would be to look at DSaF as it exists now and assume its release was a peak for it, but believe it or not, the official discord only had 30 people in it shortly before 3 dropped! The archive listing of the series (reposted to a single page after the series ended) is now sitting at over 1.1 MILLION downloads.

People kinda assume the true heyday of something is when it's new, when it's fresh and novel. For instance, some people look back at when FNaF itself was new and see that time as its peak because it had a lot of internet cultural relevance as big new indie thing on the block. But, raw numbers don't lie. The series has been continually growing since its conception and that growth has similarly bled over to its fan projects. This explains why DSaF, despite not having a new series release in almost 6 years, seems to be inexplicably growing.

Just recently, I saw someone post footage of a scene from DSaF 2 on Twitter, which got over 16k likes. People praised its writing and largely celebrated the scene. The ironic thing about that particular scene is that I remembered being unsure if it was good or not, so I showed it off in one of the FNaF community hubs. The response was broadly lukewarm to negative. Now, it's held up as one of the best scenes in those games. That's kind of the point I'm trying to make, my thoughts on the series have certainly changed with everyone's else with years of hindsight.

Heh. I'm not sure if I've talked about this in a long time, but y'know, the very first scene I implemented in-game was actually the very first Phone Guy scene in DSaF 1, more or less exactly how it appears in-game today. This was before I'd even written the bulk of the game. I was pretty unfamiliar with visual novels as a whole, pretty unsure if something like this would be palatable to a fandom that was really just used to sit 'n' survive stuff that were far more gameplay than text. I mean, there wasn't any FNaF fangames really LIKE DSaF before that point. Closest was FNaFb, a jokey turn based RPG made in the same engine.

The engine I made the game in is also not exactly fit for VNs out of the box either, and I wasn't 100% sure the idea would actually work. But, the very first time I added the image of the prize corner, Phone Guy, the audio of that iconic cheesy stock track and booted up a test screen, I had a little moment where I said "Oh. I think I'm onto something interesting here." I kinda remembering instantly realizing in that single moment how much potential the idea had. Over 8 years later, I still remember that moment like it was yesterday.

I think lately, that's the sort of stuff I think of when I see people coming to me and asking about the series. Yes, it's really rough around the edges, yes, there's jokes that've aged poorly. But, it is a source of comfort for people and entertains tens of thousands of people each month. And that's gotta count for something, right?

[centrally-unplanned]

California Crisis: Gun Salvo

I watched the 1986 OVA California Crisis, and it was really good! This anime, if you have heard of it all (which is unlikely), is famous for two things. One is its look:

Which in anime form did not exist before, and has not existed since. When you research “California Crisis” in English the source everyone pulls from is this essay by longtime industry man Fred Patten, and he describes it as “the over-solarized art style most commonly associated with the commercial artist Patrick Nagel, who was very ‘in’ at the time.” I believe him on that being an influence - he worked with the creators after all - and my primary documents from said creators are quite limited; but those that I have never mention him. They certainly were aiming for Americana - but what is causing this unique look is the use of thick, black outlines on the inner shading of the characters (something Nagel doesn’t really do), which producer Yoshikazu Tochihira mentions as a common technique used on vehicles in anime at the time. Given how heavily cars and ‘copters feature in this, I think the look was also sort of its own idea to create stylistic cohesion between the key parts.

I am not going to say it always works - on our main girl Marcia it is sketch, those eyes man:

But for our boy Noera it comes out a lot nicer:

He has less demand to be “typical anime”; bishoujo can’t blend here but surfer bum absolutely can.

You get used to it over time though, and it excels at capturing the idealized West Coast aesthetic. In particular, by being “not anime” it really helps you feel like it is somewhere else than Japan. The OVA is filled with long panning shots of detailed Los Angeles streets and beaches, named restaurants and garbled English menu items aplenty. Our friend Fred Patton - who isn’t a fan - comments that “Animation fans at the time said, only half-humorously, that it looked like the main purpose of the video was for a handful of Japanese animators to come to California and take a road trip from San Diego to Los Angeles for location shots.” But that never happened - this was made on a shoestring budget, and according to the same source as before no such site visit occurred. Instead, reference material was gathered by “searching bookstores, travel agencies, libraries, and even the American Cultural Center”, and it was a lot of work to get the details even half-right from that. Stop spreading lies, Fred Patton! Wait until you get my strongly worded comment on your blog, I don’t care if you passed away 6 years ago (RIP an absolute legend), get your facts straight!

Aided in this sense of immersion is the OVA's second source of notoriety: the absolutely banging city pop soundtrack by pop star Miho Fujiwara. The OP, Streets Are Hot, lives up to the name, straight fire:

And while not as peak, the rest of the OST doesn’t disappoint. Anime Youtuber STEVEM has a video on California Crisis that digs into the music side, as the history of city pop is absolutely his jam; for me I will just comment that it is a little lost now how western city pop was in Japan. Today it is of course “peak Japan” after its 2010’s retro internet boom, but if you listen to pop music from 1970’s Japan you still hear a lot of blending of western musical sensibilities and more traditional Japanese vocal stylings and instrumentation. City pop was one of the earlier genres to fully shed the past and embrace synth instrumentation and modern vocal approaches. And the aesthetic often pulled specifically from California - these are not album covers that scream Tokyo:

All of this is to say that this OVA is not only of its time, but it also embodies its time - a paean to the California Dream of the 80’s Tokyo youth:

Fucking vibes, man, for this alone the OVA really hits for me. Though of course, for all the Americana it is still an anime:

(Which by the way, Marcia rides a motorcycle on the highway and is clearly like 17, so Noera's rejection of an offer of sex here is more linguistic evidence for the bifurcated meaning of the word “lolicon” to refer to both actual prepubescent eroticization but also any preference for “youth” over “maturity” in typologies of femininity, intersecting with the bishoujo boom of th- okay okay, put the gun down, I’ll move on, geez…)

Sadly for California Crisis, its contemporary audience disagreed quite strongly with this being a symbol of the era; it was a huge flop. The OVA was the flagship project of a new anime venture by producer Hiromasa Shibazaki called Hiro Media Associates, and that shoestring budget was some very thin string. Shibazaki was launching his own anime+ magazine at the time, Globian (as seen in the links above), which was used to advertise their works - but towards that goal California Crisis only ever produced a single promotional image, which you see utilized everywhere it is mentioned:

So it just didn’t have the resources behind it to draw in a crowd. And the crowd it did draw in, best I can tell, wasn’t enthused; the art style was off-putting, the plot itself is a bit of a meandering mess, the long panning shots are ~vibes~ yes but also ~budget~ and obviously so, and the ending is a bit of a vague question mark. It was supposedly going to have a sequel, but Hiro Media, and Globian alongside it, closed shop soon after it was released, leaving audiences feeling that it was unfinished.

I won’t begrudge anyone their taste, or pretend it is not a very uneven work. However, I want to redeem the OVA’s core narrative from its reputation; I think it is honestly great, and it absolutely does not need a sequel. So let’s get into the plot - this is a story of a 20-something bar hand Noera, who runs into motorcycle-riding teen Marcia alongside a quasi-sentient UFO orb that just crash landed on earth. It beckons telepathically to be taken to Death Valley, a call which Noera resists but Marcia commits to heart-and-soul. Along the way the military, the CIA, the Soviets, every deep state boogeyman you can think of, all try to stop them, car chases and gunfire akimbo. Our duo bond, eventually they succeed, and the alien gives off a Kubrickian abstract flash of light and then vanishes - roll credits.

Ignore all the details, the mechanics, the CIA, all that shit. Puzzling and unsatisfying when you are watching it as a 17 year old, sure, but you are smarter now, you can separate the wheat from the chaff. Instead, why does Marcia want to follow a random alien orb into Death Valley?

Hilarious levels of on-the-nose buzzword dropping, oh sure. But behind that? Marcia is a teen, looking for meaning. She watches TV, reads books, dreams of being a hero, a protagonist, and this is it - the call of adventure! She is being offered the slot of main character and she isn’t going to turn it down. She literally name-drops Close Encounters of the Third Kind as part of her motivation, she is story-brained. When you first hear this line, you are like Noera, you eye roll it. But on reflection there is nothing more American than being the center of the universe - it truly is the American Dream.

But Marcia is not the main character of this story - the singular promotional image is lying to you. Noera is as well, and he has wisdom she doesn’t. Noera lives in the city fringe on a low wage service job, driving a beat-up Chrysler he presumably maintains himself. A blue collar man of habit, a himbo before it was hip. He follows Marcia to protect her, he casually rejects her post-car-chase adrenaline-rush-induced sexual advances. And, while they are escaping the military by hiding in a bar, he runs into an old high school friend Jack - who happens to be one of those military agents!

We have been seeing this guy the whole OVA, running the entire alien hunt operation. Top of the class, super genius, going places. Noera is unphased, and he and Jack reminisce about gags and girls from the old days. Noera congratulates his friend for “getting out” of his hometown, as it were, and then plot-duty calls, Jack’s real life calls, and he has to leave. As he does, Noera calls out to him, “Come visit me!":

And Jack leaves without saying anything:

Because it isn’t highschool anymore, right? This guy is in the Big Leagues, he isn’t gonna schlep out to some podunk bar in Long Beach because a dude he used to help do his geometry homework offers him a dri-

Oh, nevermind! Because none of that shit matters, right? We are all just dudes, let’s share a beer.

Marcia stares unaware through the entire scene by the way:

This is Noera’s “culminating moment” for his story, and she doesn’t track it.

Chasey chasey fighty fighty Death Valley journey and Marcia delivers the orb, she wins, with Noera’s help she saves the alien. And so it pulses out a sparkly rainbow, something that could maybe be interpreted as a thank you, and then leaves - giving them absolutely nothing to show for their efforts. Marcia is left on a panning shot, shocked and disappointed, holding a now broken piece of useless glass. She was never the main character of anything. She just ran an errand.

This is such good American Dream commentary! It ends the way all stories about the American Dream end - with it being a sham. Because it is. It’s all narrative, all marketing, all the outside trappings of something disconnected from the inner reality. Since this isn’t a midcentury novel but an anime OVA, the trappings of success aren’t a detached suburban home and 2.5 kids - it's being the hero of an action adventure epic. But fiction is fiction no matter the genre. Marcia doesn’t get that yet - but Noera already did before the VHS tape began to play. And Marcia’s budding realization is paralleled with Noera's own showcase of the socio-economic dilemmas that more typically define the genre - success doesn’t change who you are or what you need.

Once you step back from the sci fi spycraft stuff - which admittedly trails off - and see the themes, the ending is perfect, a sequel would totally ruin this. This is the best 80’s anime OVA commentary on the American Dream done through an otaku lens around. Definitely beats all the others in that category, for sure. Totally.

Anyway if you wanna fight me about my hot take meet me at the Waffen SS bar in 1980’s LA where I will be getting the shit kicked out of me for yelling my center-left political opinions while tipsily standing on the bartop:

All that research and I still have no explanation for this shot.

[homunculus-argument]

You ever have those random little epiphanies that are just stuff that's obvious in hindsight, but you never thought of that before? Like today I was doing my favourite internet activity - lurking other peoples' conversations online - and came by a discussion about some guy who's finnish, and another finn helpfully translated an observation about him to the english-speakers in the audience: that he talks finnish in an extremely distinct southern dialect.

And someone, clearly not finnish, commented to this, going "hold on isn't this guy like Has Never Seen A Cow In Real Life-levels of urban?"

Some other finns came in to explain the matter - something I already knew of course, but would never have crossed my mind is something that'd require explaining: Finland is structured differently than the US, with the most southern areas being the most urban and densely populated, going more rural and sparsely inhabited the further up north you go. The closest equivalent to the US kind of cows-and-tractors "redneck" (affectionate) area is central Finland. In finnish, a southern dialect - especially this one in particular - is peak Soft-Handed City Boy -talk.

And it had somehow never really consciously crossed my mind that every country and culture has their own urban-and-rural division, whether it's north/south, east/west, etc, with their broad-stroked stereotypes of the people on the other side. Like maps of places I've never been to, that on their own say nothing to me, have their own imaginary lines drawn somewhere in there, and people from one side of the line will point at the other side and say "this is the region where drunk driving a tractor is a considered a competitive sport", and the people from the other side say "people from this area have never been outdoors and will squeal in terror if they see a live chicken."

[nanowrimo]

Smash Your Word Count Goals in 3 Easy Steps

from our sponsors at Freewrite

Here at Freewrite, we help writers reach peak productivity in order to meet word count goals and create their best work yet. That’s our reason for being.

Today, we’re going to share the three easy steps proven by science to help you reach your writing goals!

1) Set A Goal & Write It Down

The psychology of goal setting is pretty clear. It’s what NaNoWriMo is all about, right? Research has proven that people who set goals experience higher motivation and are more likely to feel accomplished.

However, the type of goal you set makes a big difference to your efforts. Make sure that your goals are (a) clear and specific, (b) realistic, and (c) measurable.

Being clear about your goal will help you hone in on what you’re trying to achieve and ignore distractions. Make sure to write it down, as well. Research by psychologist Gail Matthews has revealed that people who write down goals are 33% more successful than those who simply set a goal in their head.

Next, be realistic. This means being honest with yourself about what you can and can’t achieve based on your other life obligations. Setting goals that you can’t achieve will only lead to frustration and, ultimately, a lack of motivation.

And last, make sure each goal is measurable. “Write 1,000 words each day” is much easier to measure than “Finish this book.” Because we all know it’s difficult to measure a book being “done”!

Breaking these goals down into smaller, simpler steps will help, too. If your goal is to write 20,000 words during Camp NaNo, break that down into 5,000 words a week, and then figure out how many words you’ll have to write each day to reach those smaller goals.

2) Practice Freewriting

Freewriting is thinking. It’s as simple — and as difficult — as that.

While every writer is unique, and there is no one way to be a writer, there are similarities we all share as humans — especially humans in the modern world — that create common obstacles to doing the things we love — like reading, writing, and yes, thinking. There are the obvious external obstacles: social media, email, the internet. But there are sneaky internal obstacles, too — the main culprit being the inner critic.

As humans, we are judgmental. It’s in our DNA. Our brains are constantly assessing situations, imagining outcomes, and making decisions. It’s part of survival at a very basic level. However, that means that when we do anything, including writing, we tend to automatically assess our actions — judging our own words, tweaking and editing them as we go along. That constant evaluation not only hinders progress, it can also stop us from ever getting started. And if we do manage to sit down to write, that inner critic creates an unconscious anxiety that prevents us from experimenting and writing down our most innovative and creative — and weird! — ideas.

We’ve all heard the advice to “write now, edit later.” Or perhaps you’ve heard writers reference “the sloppy/crappy/messy first draft.” Those are just fun ways of referencing the writing method in which you separate the drafting process from the editing process. Or, what we call freewriting.

Many people haven’t written this freely since childhood, but there’s a reason this method is taught in MFA programs. Getting your thoughts down first and revising later increases productivity and yields better, more creative work because it allows you to give your brain fully to each task. It means that when you’re drafting, you’re drafting, and when you’re editing, you’re editing. There’s no context-switching or multitasking.

So, what if you gave yourself permission to write badly at first? And we don’t just mean cheesy or with glaring plot holes — we mean typos, missing words, character names replaced by big Xs because you couldn’t remember them in the moment.

The next time you draft, we challenge you to give it a try. Just let yourself go and give your thoughts and feelings over to the act of creating. Because that’s when the magic happens. 

3) Track Your Stats

OK, you’ve set measurable goals, and you’ve started drafting. What’s next?

Track your efforts!

Here at Freewrite, we’ve created a tool to automatically track important writing stats, like word count, writing days, writing streak, and more! It’s called a Postbox Profile, and it gives you a unique URL that allows you to share your stats with writing friends.

Anyone with a Postbox account — that’s anyone who writes on a Freewrite OR uses our free in-browser drafting tool, Sprinter — can create a Postbox Profile and track their stats.

👉Don’t have a Freewrite yet? No problem! We have a FREE in-browser drafting experience called Sprinter that helps you shut down distractions and make progress — and gives you access to Postbox. Start writing today absolutely FREE at sprinter.getfreewrite.com.

👉Ready to grab your own Freewrite? Our entry-level device, Alpha, is $50 off this June only! Just use code STARTWITHALPHA at checkout.

[yourpenpaldee]

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ WRITEBLR INTRODUCTION.

I don't usually put myself out there as it makes me nervous. But I've been a lurker for way too long, and it's about time I step out of my comfort zone. So, hello! I'm Dee (she/her), twenty-two, and have found my voice with storytelling.

Writing has always been a passion of mine, and continues to be the tool I turn to when I need an outlet to freely express myself. I have, unfortunately, hit a rough patch with consistency, and I'm here to bring all of that motivation and inspiration back. Especially since there are one too many WIPs sitting on the backburner, and they're all calling my name.

As someone who loves to dip their toes into every genre of fiction, I will read anything that peaks my interest. However, when it comes to creating, my works usually fall under romance and mystery. With practice, I intend on branching out into other genres I don't write often. There's a lot to explore in the world of writing, and I don't want to limit myself to only two categories.

Creating this blog provides me the space I need to accomplish the many goals I often dream of achieving. I acknowledge that it all starts with the ability to hold myself accountable. To show up for myself. To become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Putting myself and my projects out into the world is only the first of many steps, and it feels quite liberating.

I aim to use the voice I've found to not only contribute to the progression of POC representation, but to touch on several topics that remain heavily stigmatized in today's media. There’s a joy that runs through my veins every time I see someone like me on my screen or in a book. I feel seen, heard, and proud. I feel important. But as a creator, there’s that itch that can only be scratched when I create. When I make something that lets the next person know that they’re not invisible. That they're valued, loved, and appreciated. That's what I hope for when someone reads a project of mine. For them to feel the same rush of joy flowing through them as it does me.

Wow, I’m a yapper. I'd like to close this intro off with some fun facts, so here are some of my top five favorites with sidenotes because I still want to yap a bit more about the things I adore.

SOLO ARTISTS:

ARI LENNOX ✧ ˚ · . CHOCOLATE POMEGRANATE — GET CLOSE — GOAT — POF — UP LATE

HALSEY ✧ ˚ · . 100 LETTERS — I HATE EVERYBODY — NIGHTMARE — ROMAN HOLIDAY — THE LIGHTHOUSE

HOPE TALA ✧ ˚ · . CHERRIES — EDEN — I CAN'T EVEN CRY — LEAVE IT ON THE DANCEFLOOR — SUNBURN

MELANIE MARTINEZ ✧ ˚ · . ALPHABET BOY — DEAD TO ME — EVIL — NOTEBOOK — STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

HALIMA ✧ ˚ · . DOWNTOWN — FORD CARDINAL — IF LOVE WAS GREEN — SAMANTHA — TALK

BANDS:

5 SECONDS OF SUMMER ✧ ˚ · . AIRPLANES — BETTER MAN — KILL MY TIME — LONG WAY HOME — TEARS!

FALL OUT BOY ✧ ˚ · . BANG THE DOLDRUMS — CHICAGO IS SO TWO YEARS AGO — HEADFIRST SLIDE INTO COOPERSTOWN ON A BAD BET — NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER — WHERE DID THE PARTY GO

FLO ✧ ˚ · . CARDBOARD BOX — FLY GIRL — IMMATURE — SUITE LIFE (FAMILIAR) — WALK LIKE THIS

PARAMORE ✧ ˚ · . BIG MAN, LITTLE DIGNITY — CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE — FRANKLIN — MISGUIDED GHOST — PART II

THE INTERNET ✧ ˚ · . DONTCHA — HOLD ON — LOOK WHAT U STARTED — SOMTHING'S MISSING — SPECIAL AFFAIR

GAMES:

CORAL ISLAND ✧ ˚ · . IF I START LISTING NAMES, I'M GOING TO MENTION EVERYONE. BUT I'M A LOYAL MARK GIRL. AND NOAH... AND MILLIE, EVA, BEN, Y—

DISNEY DREAMLIGHT VALLEY ✧ ˚ · . THIS IS SUCH A COMFORT GAME THAT SOOTHES MY INNER CHILD.

DON'T STARVE [TOGETHER] ✧ ˚ · . I MAY OR MAY NOT STILL SUCK AT THIS GAME AFTER A SOLID THREE YEARS, BUT I'M A WIGFRID MAIN.

STARDEW VALLEY ✧ ˚ · . I LOVE SEBASTIAN AND LEAH, AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL IF I HAVE TO.

THE SIMS 4 ✧ ˚ · . WHERE I SPEND A LOT MORE TIME IN CREATE-A-SIM AND BUILD MODE COMPARED TO PLAYING THE ACTUAL GAME.

TROPES:

FAKE RELATIONSHIP ✧ ˚ · . MHM... JUST SAY YOU LIKE EACH OTHER ALREADY.

FATED MATE ✧ ˚ · . I'M A BIT PICKY ABOUT THIS TROPE THOUGH. THINGS TEND TO MOVE VERY QUICKLY BUT I ENJOY IT NONETHELESS.

FRIENDS TO LOVERS ✧ ˚ · . A CLASSIC THAT DOESN'T NEED AN EXPLANATION.

REUNION ✧ ˚ · . ESPECIALLY IF THEY WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND THEY REMINISCE OLD MEMORIES, OH MY GOODNESS. I EAT THIS TROPE UP EVERY TIME.

SLOWBURN ✧ ˚ · . NO DOUBT THIS IS MY MOST FAVORITE TROPE. THE BUILDUP TO EVEN THE TINIEST PIVOTAL MOMENT ALWAYS MAKES MY HEART THUMP.

TV SHOWS:

CRIMINAL MINDS ✧ ˚ · . YES, I’LL WATCH ALL 16 SEASONS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME AND FALL IN LOVE WITH PRENTISS EACH TIME. WE WERE ALSO ROBBED OF BEARDED HOTCH CONTENT.

BRIDGERTON ✧ ˚ · . DO I CRY EVERY TIME I WATCH GEORGE AND CHARLOTTE'S STORY? YES. WILL I CONTINUE TO REWATCH IT AND RECITE THE LINES EVERY TIME SOMETHING REMINDS ME OF IT? ASOLUTELY.

THE BEAR ✧ ˚ · . I WISH I KNEW OF AYO EDEBIRI BEFORE THIS SHOW BECAUSE THAT WOMAN IS AMAZING??? LIKE, HELLO???

THE EQUALIZER ✧ ˚ · . *mini spoiler* STILL CAN'T STOP THINKING OF DANTE'S GRIN WHEN HE GOT TO SEE MEL, ROB, AND HARRY'S LITTLE WORK SPOT FOUR SEASONS LATER.

SWEET MAGNOLIAS ✧ ˚ · . HELEN, MADDIE, AND DANA SUE IS HOW I PICTURE MY FRIENDS AND I IN THE FUTURE. MARGARITA NIGHTS, BEING AUNTIES TO EACH OTHER'S CHILDREN, UGH. I LOVE THEM WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

And that concludes this introduction on me and this blog. I would love to connect and befriend other authors, so please don't hesitate to reach out as my DMs will always be open! I'd love to support and read your works, so don't be hesitant to share them with me if you'd like.

I hope you all will enjoy reading my works as much as I enjoy the process of bringing my ideas to life.

divider creds to strangergraphics ♡